Ladies Retreat

Went to a ladies retreat hosted by my church last weekend, and kind of had a rough time. My heart had been so hard towards God lately. It felt like a stone in my chest that I was carrying around. I was so exhausted from caring for my four kids and homeschooling, God knew where I was at, and when I was at that retreat, he was there, waiting for me. Waiting for me to truly surrender, because even though I had been spending time in the word (being obedient) I was not letting it absorb in my heart. I was reading scripture, just to read it.

So God knew, he knew what I was doing, checking it off my list, but he let me, he still carried me, even though I didn't deserve it.

Well my weekend was good, and full of lots of surrendering, lots of obedience, lots of letting go. I guess I tried to do that with everything, but I know I was weak. The bible tells us only in weakness are we strong, well I can tell you this I didn't feel strong.

The week before my retreat, I was in San Diego with my husband enjoying some good time alone, and I was so grateful for that time. The week before that I had a conflict with someone in my life that tore the shred of fiber that I was hanging by, so to say that I had nothing left in me for my kids, my husband, my life, would be an understatement.

So San Diego gave me time to rest and enjoy, the retreat gave me time to re-energize. To reconnect with God because he knew that he had been carrying me, I didn't even realize it, until I was there.


Thank you God for understanding me, thank you for loving me despite my hardness toward you, and teaching me what a mess I am when I'm out there trying to do it on my own.